Long term experience with psychedelics and empathogens

This guest blog is written by Claude Weill, author and educator who’s first taken psychedelics at the age of 53. This blog describes the long-term use of psychedelics by those in advanced age.

Anyone who uses mind-altering substances with due caution, a clear intention and in a safe setting can do so for decades without damaging their health. In-depth interviews with people aged between 53 and 73 years point to this finding. People at an advanced age seem to be able to integrate their spiritual-mystical experiences with psychedelics and empathogens well into their everyday life. In his new book, “Elysium hin und zurück – Mit Psychedelika unterwegs in der zweiten Lebenshälfte”, Claude Weill portrays nine people who have had deep spiritual experiences with psychedelics and empathogens.

Preliminary remark

The author‘s generation of baby boomers, those born between 1945 and 1965, probably has more experience with hallucinogenic substances than any other generation before them. Many of those who were young in the 1960s tried LSD or psilocybin-containing “magic mushrooms” at least once. It is almost part of a complete CV — at least in socially open-minded circles — to have had such an experience. But it has only nostalgic value: one has, after all, become “smarter” and “more mature” over the years. All the more remarkable is the fact that in our latitudes there are people over 50, 60 or even 70 who still use psychedelics – and, since the 1980s, also empathogens like MDMA, which evoke a strong connection with other people. This despite the still powerful social stigmatization of these substances. For understandable reasons, the aging psychonauts do not advertise their experiences: LSD, psilocybin or mescaline are still on the list of banned narcotics in Germany, Austria and Switzerland. The author, who himself has many years of experience with psychedelics and empathogens, wanted to give these people a voice. Thus the idea was born to publish a book with portraits of people in the second half of their life, some of whom have been accompanied and inspired by psychedelics and empathogens for decades. In the book, nine “LSD veterans” with a pseudonym tell about their respective experiences.

Lack of long-term studies

An additional motivation to tackle such a book project was the fact that due to the abrupt stop of research at the end of the 1960s, which resulted from the criminalization of psychedelic and empathogenic substances, long-term studies on their effects and on the motives and experiences of the consumers are largely missing. The only long-term study with psychedelics (psilocybin) the author knows of is, strictly speaking, not a long-term study, but a (late) follow-up study by Rick Doblin in 1991 (Diesch, 2015: 80) on the “Good Friday Experiment ¹” of the American Walter N. Pahnke in 1962. In addition, since 2006 there have been further clinical studies, for which follow-ups were carried out 14 or 16 months later (Diesch, 2015: 83ff.). It has never been possible, however, to generate, a sufficiently large number of participants to obtain a representative sample that would have enabled researchers to verify reliability and validity (Diesch, 2015: 91). For some years now, psychedelic research has been trying to compensate for this “flaw” with large surveys via the Internet. In view of this data situation, which is still unsatisfactory from the point of view of psychedelics research, field reports on long-term use of psychedelics and empathogens, as described in the book, are a welcome addition to ongoing research.

Interest in knowledge, questions

What the author wanted to know from the people portrayed was at what stages in their lives and in which situations in recent years they had taken psychedelics and empathogens. Did they do this sporadically or regularly, in which settings – alone, in groups, in the context of psycholytic therapy, in a shamanistic setting, or at parties? What were their motives for seeking these experiences? What insights and possibly new patterns of action did they gain from their experiences with psychedelics and empathogens? And, importantly: Were they able to integrate their experiences into everyday life? Special attention was paid to the question of whether the long-term use of these substances led to spiritual and mystical experiences. What did those consist of? The “travelers” were also asked how physical, mental, and emotional aging affects the use of psychedelics. Have the set and setting as well as the dosage and frequency of substance journeys changed over the years? Did the interviewees possibly experience the long-term use as problematic, an aberration even?

Background of the people portrayed

The nine people portrayed all belonged, with two exceptions, to a long-term psychonautical group the author himself was part of for many years. At the time of the interviews, the persons portrayed – six men and three women – were 53, 55, 57, 59 (two), 61, 64, 67, and 73 years old. They all asked – especially with regard to their jobs – to appear under a pseudonym. The professions (or professions before retirement) mentioned were: youth worker, psychiatric nurse and psychiatrist, all-rounder, lecturer and high school teacher, software engineer, naturopath and vocational school teacher, social pedagogue and hobby gardener, psychotherapist. Six of the interviewees have children, four of them are grandparents.

Time of the first experience, period of experience

The portrayed people made their first experiences with psychedelics and empathogens at the ages of 15 (LSD), 18 (LSD), 29 (LSD), 29 (MDMA), 29 (MDMA and LSD), 36 (MDMA), 39 (MDMA), 47 (MDMA) and 49 (psilocybin). Six of them had tried cannabis in their youth or as young adults, four of whom had only tried cannabis.

Two of the nine persons interviewed took a longer break from using cannabis after initial experiences with psychedelics and empathogens at the ages of 15 and 19 years, respectively. As reasons for this shorter or longer “break” the two mentioned: choosing a career and starting a family, or family obligations that required their full attention and energy. They only allowed psychotropic substances to become part of their lives again when they were 28 and 45 years old, respectively.

At the time of the interview (all interviews were conducted in 2018 and 2019), the consumption of psychedelics and/or empathogens on a continuously² sporadic al or regular basis extended over 10 (twice), 14, 18, 26, 28 (twice) and 31 (twice) years. It is therefore quite legitimate to speak of long-term experiences.

Motives for first-time use

Those portrayed who tried LSD or MDMA for the first time as adolescents or young adults said that they did so out of curiosity, a desire to experiment or because others in their group did so. For example, 15-year-old Gabriella A., who was curious about “exciting experiences” within her peer group, said: “I (…) wanted to belong to a group and not be one of the good guys” (Weill, 2020: 31). This is how she made her early LSD experiences. Max F., on the other hand, who grew up in conservative Central Switzerland, was fascinated by the ‘neo-hippies‘ at the beginning of the 1980s: “I felt that a part of me wanted to be like them. I tried to join their circles, but unfortunately, I never succeeded. However, I believed that if I smoked pot with them, it would be easier for me to belong” (ibid.: 120). He had his first LSD trip at 18 or 19 years of age. “I did the trip in a group of people my age. The trip experience was rather chaotic; I didn’t notice much of what was happening to me or in the group and was somehow confused” (ibid.: 121). Brian D., on the other hand, only used cannabis in his younger years. However, his consumption behavior is remarkable in that he consciously waited with the intake of more potent substances until he was older: “I knew immediately that I would try LSD eventually, but I wanted to do it in a protected setting and not because it felt so good” (ibid.: 54). Brian D. did not have his first experience with an empathogen until he was 47.

Other motives for resumption after a break

Those two portrayed, who, after their first experiences with psychedelics and empathogens as adolescents or young adults, entered a job- or family-related phase of abstinence, mention motives for resuming consumption years later which clearly differ from those in their “wild years“. Gabriella A. explains: “I came into contact with psychedelic and empathogenic substances again ten years ago. My partner and I attended a seminar where psychoactive substances were administered as well, which we knew. Because of my mostly positive experiences with LSD and mushrooms as a teenager and as a young adult I was open to this experiment. But the experiences of this long weekend were completely different from those 20 years earlier. The workshop was structured and well organized, and the instructors had a lot of experience, which made me feel at home. The focus was not on the substances but on self-knowledge” (Weill, 2020: 34). Max F., at 45, had reached a different point in his life as well, 15 years onwards: “I was ready again to focus on my spiritual life. But this time I did not want to push myself too far. I did a lot of research on the internet about dosage, set and setting, I read reports about experiences of other travelers as well as information about shamanism” (ibid.: 124f.).

Set and Setting

Seven of the nine people portrayed had their first experience with psychedelics or empathogens between the ages of 29 and 49. The intended and expected goals of their use pertained to self-knowledge, self-healing, and spiritual borderline experiences. None of the persons portrayed had their first contact in a “party setting” or had even considered this. Two of them avowedly resorted to psychedelics and empathogens out of a personal crisis. Accordingly, these two had decided on a psycholytic setting with close therapeutic support, individually and in the group. Another person took psychedelics and empathogens exclusively in a psychotherapeutic setting in a large group. Three of the people portrayed never chose a psycholytic setting for their substance experiences. Like the other three respondents, they alternated between different settings over the years. Brian D., for example, visited a psycholytic experience group for the first three years and then chose a shamanistic setting for his numerous self-experiments. Later, he also led groups with a shamanic background. Gabriella A., on the other hand, who tried cannabis and psychedelics in her youth and as a young adult in groups of friends, found her way, at the age of 49, into a large psycholytically led group. For some years now, she has been taking substance trips again “on her own responsibility together with good friends” (Weill, 2020: 135). According to the author, what distinguishes all of the psychonauts portrayed is that the setting ritualizes their dealings with psychedelics and empathogens, which makes them potentially mindful. This is also helped by the fact that their psychotherapeutically or shamanistically trained guides (with one exception mentioned by Brian D.) are or have been experienced as trustworthy, professionally versed, and supportive.

Frequency of use, dosage, tolerance

Except for one person, who used substances excessively over a period of eight years, none of the interviewees took psychedelics or empathogens more than four or five times a year. With increasing age, both consumption and dosage decreased. Brian D. is still taking high doses³ of MDMA at standardized doses of 125 mg four to six times a year. It was not until he was 55 that he began to reduce the number of his trips to one or two per month and cut back on the dosage. The trips became more difficult for him: “Today, at 73, depending on the substance, traveling is much more stressful for me than before. It is physically more strenuous, I have to take a rest for at least two days afterward. I have become more cautious and reserved in the handling of substances (…)” (Weill, 2020: 58).

Mia Z. also visits her “circle” only once a year nowadays, after having gone on substance journeys with it four times a year for many years. She has not had to change the dosages of the psychedelics: “My use of substances has not changed over the years. I have never been interested in taking risks. With my tour guide, I have the security of knowing that the dosage is not too high. I still tolerate the medium dosages he chooses well” (Weill, 2020: 140). But she adds: “For the body, it has become more strenuous” (ibid.: 140). Lara T. also listens more to her body, she confesses: “Today I travel with lower dosages and less often. In the past, my motto was rather, ‘It may be a little bit more’. In the meantime, I have become more careful. On a substance journey, I don’t want to suffer a physical crisis like hyperthermia. I have never been psychologically dependent; sometimes, I took breaks of several years between trips” (ibid.: 100).

Ingo V., on the other hand, feels safe, despite his previous illness. He says: “I have been taking blood pressure and cholesterol-lowering drugs for years, and five years ago I had a cancer disease with rather severe impairments. These are not contraindications; medically I am, as they say, well adjusted” (Weill, 2020: 152). Xavier L., who takes psychedelics and empathogens three to four times a year in psycholytic settings, says something similar: “I still tolerate MDMA and LSD well even at an advanced age and would like to take a high-dose trip once again” (ibid.: 50).

Risks and stumbling blocks

The persons portrayed are aware that the long-term use of psychedelics and empathogens carries risks – not because they could become physically or psychologically dependent on psychedelics, nor because of the illegality and the risks resulting from receiving unclean or overdosed “substance“. This was not an issue for any of the nine people portrayed. For the LSD veterans, the danger lies in getting used to overwhelming summit experiences and the desire to experience them again and again. Brian D. remembers: “Around 1997, when I was already 52, I extended my psychedelic experiences to two or three trips a week. Looking back, I probably expected too much of myself at that time. (…) For a while, I became obsessed with the urge to get behind the secret of visible, touchable phenomena ” (Weill, 2020: 56f.). Or Herbert K., who admits in retrospect: “This ‘oceanic dissolution of the self’ was overwhelming, and it clearly had the potential for addiction. Not physically, but psychologically. What escaped me in my euphoria – like almost everyone who’s on the substance path – was the fact that these strong experiences weaken over time and cannot be repeated at will” (ibid.: 82).

Mia Z. also knows that MDMA, which opens the heart, has a certain potential for habituation: “I am very attentive, however. You start using it quickly, especially MDMA. Because it feels so good, the temptation is great to go on an MDMA trip every few weeks. I must admit to myself that I too have a certain potential to become addicted to ‘beautiful’ experiences” (Weill, 2020: 137). Ingo V., too, questions his many years of experience with MDMA: “MDMA, again and again, takes you into the same pleasant, but deceptive spaces of seduction, without bringing about any real transformation” (ibid.: 149).

Spiritual experiences of the portrayed persons

As mentioned at the beginning, the author especially wanted to find out to what extent the interviewed persons had had spiritual and mystical experiences on their trips. If people who took psilocybin once in their life count their mystical experiences 25 years later among the most valuable they ever had (Diesch, 2015: 80ff.) – how much more probable is it that people who have been using psychedelics and empathogens for decades have made such experiences? In fact, all interviewees report deep, spiritual experiences and insights granted to them on their substance journeys. For the psychonauts, these experiences do not represent one of many experiences, but the quintessence of their years of substance use. The wealth of what they experienced covers the entire range of mystical experiences that Walter N. Pahnke summarized in his categorization 60 years ago (ibid.: 62ff.) and that other authors later modified and expanded (ibid.: 71ff.). Exemplary for spiritual-mystical experiences are the so-called ego-death and dying experiences, as Brian D. experienced them: “It was clear to me early on that experiences with psychedelics are, in the broadest sense, death experiences. Every journey with substances is a small contact with death. Your ego is pushed back for a few hours, perhaps disappears completely, and our mind experiences this as death. On the high-dosage journeys we made at that time, you inevitably had to pass through this point where your ego died. (…) I experienced the fear of death as very real” (Weill, 2020: 62). Herbert K. says: “After two decades of experience with mind-expanding substances, I am deeply convinced that the spaces you enter under LSD or MDMA are only gradually different from those which reveal themselves to you when you die. You return to a multidimensional space” (ibid.: 86).

Integration of the experiences into everyday life

In the author’s opinion, the people portrayed in the book all testify to largely successful integration of spiritual borderline experiences into everyday life. This is even true for Bernhard S., who says of himself: “Personally, I found the lasting, conscious access to self-knowledge and compassion in Zen, not through substances.” But he qualifies this statement elsewhere: “Nevertheless, I would not want to miss my substance experiences. They belong to me.” Basically, the following can be said for the people portrayed: their long-term experience with psychedelics and empathogens has not diminished the challenges, problems, and trials of their everyday life. What has changed, however, is their attitude towards it. Knowing that everything is connected to everything else and that everything has a meaning and an order, it is easier for them to accept their life and, at the same time, to shape it creatively. 73-year-old Brian D. sums up this spiritual insight when he says in retrospect: “In this sense, my life did not begin until I was 50. Only then did I find the courage to abandon myself completely to life. To say to life: ‘Here I am – I am at your disposal. Show me what to do.’ This does not release me from everyday decisions and tasks, but these are made from a different attitude towards life and from the knowledge that it is the whole, of which I am a part, that takes the decisions” (Weill, 2020: 64). Several of those portrayed report that their experiences with psychedelics and empathogens helped them to get closer to their parents. For example, Max F., whose relationship with his mother became more relaxed thanks to the mushrooms. He says: “I noticed how difficult issues dissolved between us, how we could meet each other more and more in peace” (ibid.: 127). In the case of others, such as Xavier L., Lara T., or Mia Z., their work with patients, prospective nurses or care for elderly people benefits from their substance experiences.

Conclusion

Consuming psychedelic and empathogenic substances over a long period of time is by no means incompatible with mastering everyday life, its challenges, duties, and trials – at least in the case of the people portrayed in the book. On the contrary, it seems that the successful integration of their mystical and spiritual experiences enables the long-term psychonauts to see their everyday life in a more positive and meaningful light. It would be up to current psychedelic research to prove whether or not this assumption is correct.

Literature

Diesch, K. Matthias (2015): LSD: Rückkehr in die klinische Forschung. Solothurn: Nightshade Science.

Weill, Claude (2020): Elysium hin und zurück – Mit Psychedelika unterwegs in der zweiten Lebenshälfte. Winterthur: Edition Spuren.

Endnote

1 In the “Good Friday experiment”, 20 theology students were given a questionnaire and two other components to find out whether the administration of 30 mg psilocybin triggered a mystical experience in them during a Christian mass. (Diesch 2015: 80)

2 One participant had consumed psilocybin-containing mushrooms for three years at the age of 28, but then took a break of twelve years until again taking psychedelics and empathogens. She has been doing this for the last ten years now.

3 I did not ask the people portrayed about the exact dosage of their trips.

This article was originally published in SuchtMagazin 3/2020, Switzerland

Biography

Claude Weill (born 1950) lives in Zurich, Switzerland. After completing a history degree at the University of Zurich, he worked as a journalist and editor for Swiss print media for many years. From 1999 until his retirement, he additionally worked as an adult educator, vocational school teacher, and stress management trainer in schools, organizations, and companies. In 2017, he published his book ‘In Glücksmomenten bin ich weder jung noch alt – Zwölf Porträts von Menschen nach der Lebensmitte‘ (Edition8, Zurich). The author, who has been interested in existential and spiritual questions for years, had his first experience with psychedelics and empathogens at the age of 53.